High Hells…Sorry, I Mean Heels.

What others see

inna-panasenko-highheels-obsessionVictoria-s-Secret-Heels-womens-shoes-27156603-424-572hot-christian-louboutins_-studded-platform-high-heels-2-07eb

What I see

Judas-Chairimage55004-830916cfdbaef98732b2a3f75906aefbknives

various-torture-devices-punishment-museum-rothenburg-ob-der-tauberchair-torture

Indeed, a picture does speak a thousand words.

I’ve never been the heel-wearing type. I’m short, but I’m comfortable with the view of the world at my altitude. When choosing what shoes to wear out, for me, comfort trumps any other thought and I immediately reach for the nearest pair of sneakers/flats. I have a few high heels, but they’re only for occasions like parties and weddings and such where I can calculate beforehand exactly how long I’ll have to keep them on, and how much I’ll have to walk around in them. Preferably, all I’ll have to do is get from the car to the entrance, then to the room/banquet hall/whatever, where I’ll find a nice chair with my name on it and not budge from there unless I particularly feel like it.

I get it, people wanna feel tall, especially women. Wearing heels makes them tower above others and make them feel empowered. Add on the fact that they make their legs look longer and their butts curvier and you have a pretty good reason to want to always be seen in them. BUT the pain! I honestly don’t mind high heels, but it’s when they make uncomfortable ones that get bought out and (seemingly) effortlessly worn by others that I get mad. Am I the only one whose feet hurt? Are my feet not made like everyone elses? I sometimes think so. I have to search for stable, non-wobbly heels that don’t force my toes together painfully into a hard, tiny, compartment of toe-death with an incline that doesn’t direct all my body weight into said compartment of painful toe-death. Or are the front-halves of my feet just bigger than they’re supposed to be? Which means that the majority of shoe manufacturers are FOOT RACISTS. How dare they make shoes biased toward people with petite feet? HOW DARE THEY?!

This wouldn’t bother me so much if it weren’t for the fact that my life is about to change drastically. Well, hopefully not that drastically. I’ll be married soon, and being married in our culture is synonymous with always being dressed up. OK, maybe not always, but when going to relatives houses, yes. I dunno why, but you’re supposed to appear different from your old ratty self. Like an old penny that’s been shined. I don’t appreciate the transformation or the sentiment behind it. I LIKE getting dressed up, but if I have others’ expectations to hanging above my head like a noose, will I still want to? NO.

It’s just as well that this wardrobe change is going to happen at the time that it will. At least then, I’ll have someone to lean on if it gets too hard.

Just to drive the point home, and since we all love pictures so much:

This is what I see when I see a woman clacketting away on precariously pointed heels

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And this is what I see when I see a woman running in said heels.

trapeze

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About thejawavillager

I am a mad scientist with an underground lab rivaling Dexter's that I will soon use to rule the world. Join my army or be killed in the aftermath.
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