Jane Eyre- A Review

Yooo people. I used to do so many movie reviews before I joined WordPress. I need to populate the ‘Movies’ Category of my blog. I’m not saying that that’s my only motivation in writing his review, because I would have done it regardless.

Jane Eyre is one of my favorite classics (It may just be my favorite classic, period.) The tale of an unloved, lonely little girl facing prejudices and hardships to emerge as a smart, amazing, forgiving person and to go on and find love in the best way possible and live happily ever after…*sigh of contentment * What’s not to like??? I’ve read the book so many times, it’s taken a shabby appearance, yet every time she faces the harsh unfairness of her asshole relatives and every time Helen dies and every time she watches Mr. Rochester from afar chatting with that bimbo Blanche Ingram, I feel a lump form in my throat and a sharp pang in my chest.

The book, for a book written so long ago, was surprisingly relatable for me. The issues it faced, aside from the obvious one of love and the conditions it must fulfill in those times, was touching and, in my opinion, satisfyingly (if not realistically) resolved. The idea of a working class girl with nothing to her name finding love with a rich, older man. Of her being able to do so and assert herself in a male-dominated world, having no experience of society and such. Of her hardship-filled childhood which, instead of scarring her with its injustice, made her into a woman of high morals; patient and forgiving. Of poetic justice being served and everyone getting their deserved endings.

I loved every aspect of the book, so when I heard of the movie being made, starring Mia Wasikowska (from Alice in Wonderland and The Kids Are Alright) and Michael Fassbender(whom I’d never heard of before) I knew it would have to be pretty spectacular to stack up against the original. Sadly, though, I knew most movies never do (It’s a near-impossible feat to accomplish) I didn’t dare pin up any hopes against it. But a while after the movie was released, I read a few reviews, all of which praised the film highly, leading me to have hope. And hope is never good.

The movie, based on itself as a period drama, is pretty good. It may even be better than just ‘pretty good’. But it paled in comparison to the book.

The film did everything it was supposed to. It started off well and gave a concise yet accurately emotive picture of her childhood without oversimplifying key points and relationships. I used the extent I was moved at different points during the film as a barometer of how good the film was. The film was pretty good until the time of the almost-kiss after the almost-fire in Mr. Rochester’s room. Before that part, I was eating out of the films hand, if it had hands. The quietly suggestive conversations between Jane and Mr. Rochester were superbly done. My hair was standing on edge. Michael Fassbender has the most amazingly expressive eyes. It was easy to see how our heroine stayed clueless of his intentions yet was drawn to him based on those cryptic sentences and those hypnotic eyes. Where were we? Yes, the almost kiss in the bedroom…

They had to add that, didn’t they? It served the sex-starved movie-watching masses of today but it didn’t fit into the story. That’s basically a confession of his feelings. She was supposed to be still sort of in the dark. She was supposed to be kind of confused by his oddly passionate words, but an almost kiss is basically letting-the-cat-out-of-the-bag WAY too early. Aw, shucks. I know I may be being a little too anal about this, but instead of her liking him and not daring believe he liked her, it was more like, she turned away from him, then realized she liked him because of the whole jealousy thing with Blanche (such an ugly name). See the difference? The first scenario is so much more heartfelt and keener. Looking at him from afar, thinking of being separated from him, of saying the words you long to hear to another, doesn’t that make your heart ache? Even as a casual observer? *sigh*

I’ll stop my purist ranting and move on. The scene where she confesses her love and he proposes to her was done as well as can be hoped (seemed a bit rushed though) and it warmed my heart to see them kiss and finally find themselves in the company of the other.

The wedding scene was as expected, too, BUT they made his first wife pretty. She’s supposed to be huge, fat and ugly. (Though I always wondered how a mental illness causes a supposedly beautiful person to turn into Shrek minus the coloration..hmm) The part where Jane stays locked in her room after the wedding fiasco and even afterwards when he begged her to stay with him and continue loving him didn’t get a rise out of my emotional barometer.

Sniffle Action!

(That thing is accurate, yo) Instead of the pangs of heartbreak and mind-reeling incredulity, I felt nothing. It just seemed like a scene with a lot of sniffling action going on. And I mean A LOT of sniffling action.



One thing that I did like about the film was how they introduced John Rivers first, making a person unaware of the plot think that he may possibly be the love interest. In the book, after already being acquaintedwith the series of events at Thornfield Hall, we knew nothing could come of her relationship with Rivers. That guy had a stick up his disciplinarian ass. Didn’t like him at all. Presumptuous little pr*ck that he was. What did HE know about love? But I didn’t get why they failed to introduce that whole ‘oh, we’re related!’ thing. I know it’s unacceptable, an offer of marriage to your cousin, but it was back then, so boo-hoo, man up, and do the story correctly! Although I thought the whole accidental relation thing was far-fetched, it was part of the poetic justice-happy ending aspect of the story. All I’m saying is they shouldn’t have changed it.

One thing I absolutely LOVED about the film. I loved the stunning, hauntingly picturesque cinematography. I am a fool for pretty pictures, and this film has plenty of ‘em. (note to self: I might just paste my review of 127 hours. It’s a perfect example of stunning visuals combined with a unique plot that emotionally invests you in the story and teaches you a few lessons as well)

Acting. The acting was flawless (sniffle scene aside, that is). I could find no fault in both the leads acting. Wasikowska got the accent down pat and Fassbender, as I’ve already said, was amazing. That guy was almost too pretty to look at. Except for the last scene.

I wanted to see their happily-ever-after epilogue. I wanted to see him get his vision back and regain that Mr. Rochester-ness.  But the main problem I had with the last scene wasn’t the open-ish ending (because we all know they get married and live happily ever after) it was the SCRAAGILY BEARD. There, I said it! BEARD BEARD BEARD. SCRAAGILY BEARD. *pukes* HOW COULD SHE KISS HIM LIKE THAT? GROSS!!! EW EW EW! Just thinking about it is making me wanna wash my eyes out. She should have patiently waited until she could have him shaved by the butler or whomever and then kissed him. Or she should have at least parted his scraggily mustache hair out of the way and then kissed him. I’m wondering, did Mia Wasikowski get paid enough to kiss a hairy Michael Fassbender??? I think not. No money in the world should induce a girl to do that. Here’s an eye candy screencap. Let’s rinse our eyes out together, shall we?


About thejawavillager

I am a mad scientist with an underground lab rivaling Dexter's that I will soon use to rule the world. Join my army or be killed in the aftermath.
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30 Responses to Jane Eyre- A Review

  1. Becoming Bitter says:

    *Laughs* Villager keep your calm. I understand how you feel. Fantastic job recapping by the way. You made me want to watch the movie and read the book. Yes, don’t gasp I have not read Jane Eyre. I’ve read books like Pride and Prejudice and watched North and South the drama. Anyways, I loved how emotional and taken the tone of your review was. Then, the beard bit at the end was a funny and insane touch of yours.

    There was an almost kiss in Pride and Prejudice as well which annoyed me because it had no purpose being there. They were both pissed at each other so why would they even contemplate doing it (even if they were inches away from each other).

    • Thank you. 🙂 I am not gasping because you’ve had the good sense to at least have read Pride and Prejudice and watched NOrth and South. (I wrote a recap on the first 2 episodes but then quit because it took REALLY LONG. Now I know that taking really long is normal but then I didn’t know) LOVED North and South, BTW. I could find no fault in the show. It was simply the best period drama ever. And the main dude in it was SO HOT. haha. Don’t get me started about the lack of kissing in the final scene of Pride and Prejudice. That bothered me for days. We want kissing, Dammit! No, it is not fine!. LOL.

  2. Raine says:

    I’ve seen the 1970 and the 1996 versions and of the two the 1996 version is my favorite (William Hurt, Charlotte Gainsbourg). Movies do tend to play their audiences and the changes are most definitely due to that. I’d rather have honesty in the plot (sticking to the intentions) than changing for revenue. But we know that will never happen. If you change something for brevity’s sake but it upholds the author’s intention, that’s cool. But not otherwise.

    Mental illness- That kind of illness (I presume schizophrenia) will create all sorts of body types based upon the manifestation of the illness. I haven’t read the book in a while, but I suppose she was a cow?

    cat-out-of-the-bag-almost-kiss – I haven’t seen it and I agree. Everything about their relationship is slow and subtle. When you do that, it just kills it.

    The beard – don’t get me started.

    Very nice review! I need to work on mine. I got intimidated and stopped…

    • What? You got intimidated? By whom? Lemme go get my baseball bat…
      I don’t have a baseball bat. BUT I TOTALLY WOULD GO GET IT IF I DID. 😛
      And yes, she was supposed to be tall, big boned, and fat, with a purplish face. In other words, the ultimate cow. A mad cow! Har har…
      And I agree, brevity that retains the original sentiment is OK, which is why I liked the beginning. There was quite a long bit on her childhood in the book, but the basics were conveyed in a short time in the film properly, so I was satisfied.

  3. Becoming Bitter says:

    Back off ladies… Richard Armitage is mine. I am always armed with a wand – don’t forget that.

    I’m just jesting! You guys can have him, but I do agree he is very of “hot” and physically appealing. His accent is like chocolate! When he was proposing to her I was like “YESSSS, I DOOO”.

    Both of you keeping recapping because you’re adding to my list of things to read and watch.

    • Raine says:

      Park Shi-hoo is my future husband. Just lettin’ ya know. AND I just added a few more things to my ‘to watch’ list. When I get my other computer back I have about 20 more things to put on there. I only have 2 things to add to my watched list 😦 How SAD!

    • I did a google image search on him later and, oddly, the only pics of him I found appealing were the ones of him in period costume and SIDEBURNS….and I am not a facial hair person. 😛

  4. Becoming Bitter says:

    Listen to this song… I’m sure you both will ~love~ it

  5. alua says:

    I have been wanting to watch this film…. I just haven’t had time and I think this week is the last week that it’s screening in London cinemas. Not that I’ll mind watching it on DVD, but this was actually one film I was willing to pay to see it in the cinema.

    I think Mia Wasikowska has got great promise, and she picks interesting film projects for sure. Michael Fassbender is a quite well-known actor actually – I haven’t consciously seen him in anything, but I think “Shame” is another film of his that’s currently on cinema release and has received critical praise. (I don’t think I’ll watch it though… too dark for me.)

  6. Becoming Bitter says:

    @ Ranting Cello – Watch the video I posted in here and let us know your thoughts!

  7. Becoming Bitter says:

    @ Villager and Ranting Cello
    Do your worst you say Villager?
    Here! Sectumsempra!

    • This actually not that bad. I like the music, on a superficial, first-time hearing-it-and-want-to-dance-to-it kinda scale.
      The lyrics are very…visual, but that’s the norm these days. eh.
      Listened to it again. I kinda like it. (!!!)
      And doesn’t he look like he’d make a pretty lady? Kinda remind me of that girl from Twilight, whatshername..

      OMG….pahahhahahha. Not bad…not bad at all….

      • Becoming Bitter says:

        He scares me though… the way he can just change from a guy to a girl without any polyjuice potion needed.There was even a video of him entering the girl’s restroom in Walmart! Makes me wonder how many cross dressers do this.

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